I apparently am not a blogger. I haven’t posted in so long I almost forgot I even had one. I suppose it doesn’t matter, not many read these.

So, changes? A major one happened recently. I bought a house. That’s right, I, the one who can’t commit, bought a house. Wow. I really did.

I have been moved in for about two weeks, and so far it’s been good. I haven’t had any problems. It was actually really surprising, but the process of buying the house went so smoothly. I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things just don’t go that smoothly do they? Is that normal? I feel like it isn’t.

The house had literally just went on the market the day before I put an offer in on it. Seems rushed I know, but I wanted to get in before anybody else. Also, you would just have to see the house. It was owned by an elderly couple so they kept it up really well and it’s only 11 years old.

I was nervous to be on my own, but at the same time excited. It’s like a new adventure is about to start. I hope it doesn’t turn into a difficult adventure.

Till next time….


where to go…

Sometimes I think it would be fun to pack up, and move off somewhere that nobody knows me. Start over. It would allow you to invent yourself over again. What all would happen? How would I do things different? Would I? Where would I go? I often think I would live in a different state, but what about a different country? Europe looks amazing. Would it be a great place to live? I don’t know.

If I did it would be interesting to see how I might change. Would I be more guarded or less? Would I let myself go? Interesting thoughts for the night.

Not a very long post, but yet a very thought provoking one. At least for me it is.


keep surviving….

can’t decide

I haven’t done anything today. Watched some Netflix and that’s about it. I did do some laundry and cleaning. I hate days when I can’t decide on something to do. I couldn’t decide on a show or movie to watch even. It’s ridiculous.

I feel like this is sort of how my life is. I can’t ever decide on anything. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I realize that I am my worst obstacle each day.

I was brought up in a household where you were not expected to succeed. Success was for somebody else. It was the attitude that if you wanted to be a doctor you must be full of yourself and think you’re better than the rest. It’s completely not the case. I have thought about being many things in my life, have never been able to go for anything. No drive.

I have a friend, and he is constantly coming up with ideas on different ways to make money. He goes for it. He’s not afraid of failing. He isn’t afraid to put himself out there. I don’t understand it. To me it is a foreign concept, and I sit in awe of how he just goes for it.

Now, that being said he is a lot like me in that he has trouble finishing things. We are actually a lot alike. It’s kind of crazy. We both are good at many different things. We start many things, but never seem to finish them. Never get to where we “master” something. It just seems to be that we get a handle on it, and then we stop. I don’t know if we get bored with it, or we are afraid of it becoming too much. It’s interesting.

He’s a good guy, and I think he is a good friend for me. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I can keep up with him. I don’t know if it’s a friendship that will last. I hope so. Maybe this is something I can finish. I don’t usually hold on to friends. Seems to be that when I get a friend they leave, and I don’t keep in touch. That being said it is a two way street, and they don’t keep in touch either. Maybe that is because I am not a very good friend. I always feel like I am too awkward or try to please too much to keep a friend. I never feel like I can truly be myself. I have a problem with trusting people. Anyway, that’s a subject for another day.

I suppose I never keep with my title subject, but then again maybe it did. I can’t decide. One day at a time I guess.


keep surviving

seriously?…….you are an adult

I was at a conference this past week. It was for my job, and so one of my co-workers went with me. I really wasn’t looking forward to her coming along. She isn’t exactly my favorite person to work with. Nonetheless she went. The conference itself was fine and I learned a good amount. Met several people and made some good contacts.

HOWEVER, when it came time for dinner…it became another story. I have never been so embarrassed by someone while at a restaurant. I thought I went to dinner with an adult. Little did I know, I did not. I have never seen anybody who was older than 12 kick their feet whilst sitting, and bounce in her seat while eating her food. I couldn’t believe it. Literally bouncing in place. This is not the normal behavior of a 40 year old, is it? I can’t imagine it is.

The waitress brought out drinks to the table. Co-worker ordered water and literally drank it in two minutes. The restaurant was busy and I don’t know any waitress that’s going to come back in that short of a time to see if you need a refill. So, to me if it was me I would just be patient and wait. I mean I drank the glass of water so I shouldn’t need more that quickly, right? Wrong. It was the end of the world. She was looking around asking me where the waitress was and she was out of water and needed more. It made me cringe because I knew what was coming next. As another waitress walked by she stopped her and said, “I don’t know where our waitress is, but I need more water.” Which of course the our original waitress came a minute later to ask if we were alright. Instead of just saying yes, I heard, “I asked another waitress to get me some water, because you hadn’t been by to refill my glass.”

Perhaps, to some of you it would be fine to do that. She’s just pointing out that she was not being served as she should have been. You’re entitled to your opinion that is fine. I would like to remind you that the glass of water was drained within two minutes of it being set down. Also, the restaurant was busy being that it was the dinner rush. Now, besides that, why did she have to indicate to the waitress that she flagged down that our waitress was MIA? Then, why did she have to tell our waitress that she had another waitress get her refill because she hadn’t been back? To me that is rude. She had already decided the service was bad before it had really begun.

Working in the service industry is not an easy job. Ask anybody that has done it and they will tell you that it can be one of the worst jobs. Not only can it be incredibly busy, but you have people that are rude as well. If something is not right, then politely ask the waiter or waitress to correct what is wrong. It’s people who are not understanding that make working in that industry so bad. If you can’t be polite and understanding then just stay home. You are going to get your blood pressure up, and probably ruin somebody’s day. When you go to a restaurant it should be understood that you are not the only table that the waiter/waitress has to deal with. Many times they are waiting on many tables at once. They have to remember which one they need to help next, what the requests were for each table. It’s not an easy job and they don’t need people that it would seem to be their mission to be a nuisance.

I was terribly embarrassed by my co-workers behavior. I tipped the waitress generously and apologized as I left. That was not the only instance of stupidity that night and it certainly wasn’t the last for the few days that we were at the conference.

I suppose that may seem small to most, but I believe it is a part of a larger problem  that we have today. If people could just be a little more respectful and understanding we would be better off. Often time’s your problem isn’t the fault of the person you are yelling at. If you have a problem remember that generally the customer service person is only trying to help you to the best of their ability. For some reason people think you have to yell to get what you want. I will say, personally, if you begin yelling at me or become rude I’m less likely to help you. You have probably just sealed your own fate. Most times I will let it slide for the first little bit while you explain the problem, but if you keep harping on it after I have told you the solution, then I am not going to help you in the same manner. I may even hang up, or walk away depending how far it goes.

Well surely that is enough griping for today. If it’s not I could certainly keep going.


keep surviving


Finished watching Justified on Amazon. I discovered it last year and watched all the season’s that were out there, but waited till they put out the 6th and final season. It was really quite good. Though at times I did get a little tired of the squinty eyes from Raylan. Not to mention Boyd’s teeth. Wow for being a hillbilly he certainly had white teeth. Makes you wonder how much time he was supposed to have spent on dental hygiene.

Overall I have no real complaints about the show. It was a decent show. I will say I did want Raylan and  Wynona to end up together, but I will settle for them being friendly. One other thing is that it would have been a good twist if the ADA Vasquez would have had a hand in getting AvA out. How would that have worked? I don’t know but by the end of the show I didn’t like him and so he needs to have been dirty or something. I know that’s probably not fair, but hey that’s my opinion. Also, was glad to see ‘John Wayne’ get shot in the end. Anybody else just find his character annoying? I mean I get it, but it certainly made you want him to die.

I thought about being in law enforcement once. Figured it probably was not for me. I think it would have been fun to do something to do with chasing down people committing fraud. Make them pay for the crap they pull on people. So many of them could probably have decent jobs. They have a set of skills. Some of them would be great at sales. Who knows what they could do if they put there minds to doing something legitimate. I suppose crime pays faster though.

Leave a comment if you feel led.

keep surviving


Why are people so ridiculous? I can’t believe some people and the way they conduct themselves. I work in an office and for the most part there is very little drama. I know, right? Office jobs generally have a ton of back biting and the such. I have to say we don’t. We have a few people that enjoy drama. Seems to me they have low self esteem and try to make others look bad so they can appear better. Which frankly is ridiculous. If you can barely do your job, then most people are smart enough to know that you’re being ridiculous. It’s sad to me that they don’t have anything better to do with their time. I would think they would take the time and try to improve themselves so maybe they would have a foundation for their slanderous comments.

If you put the time in and do your homework you can get ahead in your job. Even if you don’t play the “game” it will payoff. It may take time but you can. Why become fake and something you don’t like to get ahead. It sets a bad precedent in general. Yes, I am aware it happens all the time, but who do we hate the most? The people who do the work, or the people who brown nose?

Leave a comment let me know what you think. As always..

keep surviving

Trying something new…

I have decided to start a blog. Why? I need an outlet. I have many thoughts in my head I need to get out.

I can’t say whether anyone will even read this blog or find it interesting. That’s not my main goal anyway. What I want is to find answers by writing. Perhaps, I will learn something about myself or understand myself better. If by chance anyone does read this blog, then maybe I can learn something from an outside perspective.

Life is never easy, and it would seem that I, like most people, can’t seem to ask for help. How can I ask for help when I don’t know what I need help with? Hopefully I find out.

Keep surviving.